The Existentialism of This Essay

"Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself. Such is the first principle of existentialism."

~ Jean-Paul Sartre 

I choose to make this essay. That is my decision, I have paid the price and that’s what I’m going  to do with it as my responsibility. To be entirely honest, when I decided to join this event, I do  have some idea about what to write, but no idea about how am I going to write it. In the chaos of  my mind jumping around and exploring in the ‘flight of ideas’ that comes to mind when to write  about either justice, climate change, or even moral philosophy itself, I just can’t seems to come  with some original thought or conclusion regarding specific topic about any of it, so I decided to  just came up with something more abstract like philosophy. Thus, the idea that comes to mind was  to write this kind of personal essay that talks about itself and it’s struggle to be. 

So, let’s begin. 

The Absolute Absurdity of This Essay 

"The human condition is absurd, as the confrontation between man's desire for significance,  meaning and clarity on the one hand—and the silent, cold universe on the other" 

~ Albert Camus 

You want to hear something absurd? Yeah, this essay. As I said, I have no idea how I’m going to  write it. Ideas to write just flow around as I typing and that is actually kind of wild to think about  isn’t it? This quote comes to mind when I look about the topics of existentialism and what do I  know, absurdism is just part of it. 

This specific quote actually describe my whole thought process when making this personal essay,  it talks about the absurdity condition that human can face with such desire but there is nothing  significance of it’s fruition when it comes to be in this cold, silent universe on the other side. The  example being myself, I have desire to make this essay. I even joined the competition since last 

week, but as I realize when I sit down to type something. I’m facing the reality of no inspiration  and motivation to begin with. 

It's so absurd because one day, you seems confident about yourself, about your capacity to do  something, but when it comes to actually do it, you suddenly realize that you don’t have any chance  at all. It’s kind of depressing when you think about it. 

Procrastination And Existential Crisis 

As day goes by, nothing seems to get done. I’m trying to do some research about the topics given  but the more I learned about the subject, the more I feel overwhelmed by the subject itself. The  only good thing I can said about the process is now I know a little bit more about climate change,  how exactly important the issue is, and how we should take part on it. Don’t even get me started  about the dilemma ambiguity of law and justice because it’s whole different subject to learn and  think about. But when it comes to write a meaningful, thoughtful essay about it. As I facing my  monitor screen to write, nothing sort of words seems to come. So, I lay down and spend my time  doing something else, waiting for inspiration to kick in. 

It never comes. 

"He who has a why to live for, can bear with almost any how" 

~ Friedrich Nietzsche 

I don’t have any strong reason to finish it. Days goes by without doing anything about the essay. I  procrastinate like a pro, and it comes to the point I feel desperate about it, to the point of realization  that maybe the essay will not be done after all. I feel hopeless about it and there is nothing I can  do. 

To Be or Not To Be…. 

….that is the question (Wiliam Shakespeare, Hamlet). Clocks ticking and comes the final day. As  I eating my first meal of today in the dawn. I came to realize that maybe it’s not about the content  of the essay, but more about the existence of the essay itself. There is still the third topic after all  that prompts us to talk about it.

“Existence precedes essence” 

~ Jean-Paul Sartre 

I present to you the core concept of existentialism, defined by this quote. Which is the reason this  essay comes to be. It’s controversial because it begs to differ the general consensus of Aristotle  and Aquinas who thought that essence precedes individual existence. But the meaning of the words  itself, comes with the wisdom of freedom and projection of choice. It’s not about the one existence  should be formed based of a previously designed model or a precise purpose. But rather, one should  choose his why to exist by it’s own choice to engage in such condition. The concept is all about to  assert that there is no predetermined essence in being, and that an individual’s essence were defined  by the individual through how that individual choose to live his or her life.  

"Man first of all exists, encounters himself, surges up in the world – and defines himself  afterwards" 

~ Jean-Paul Sartre. Existentialism is a Humanism 

So I create this essay. Not because I need to, but because I want to. I want to live up to this quote,  and thus comes my ‘why’ for this essay to be. This essay comes first, the meaning comes later.  

The meaning of this can even be anything based on the reader’s assumption and interpretation,  but for all I know that is the very definition of existence itself. It can be very ridiculous in its  own sense, but what gives it meaning is what it choose to be afterwards. 

Whether it will come to the wider audience or not, whether it will just be some form of email  attachment, the essay has exist. I created it, and I choose for it to be completed. Such thing is  fulfilling enough for me. 

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very  existence is an act of rebellion.” 

~ Albert Camus