THE LIBERATING POWER OF SELF-RELIANCE

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson – Self-Reliance Essay, 1841

Being a true self can be grueling, especially in modern society. We seem to be overly dependent on how others perceive us, often unwittingly so, since our lives are more exposed publicly with just one click on social media. This makes our online presence more believable than our real ones. It's a bitter truth, yes, but perhaps it doesn't have to be. Perhaps there's a chance for us to stand solidly on our own feet without anxiously catching on to the thoughts about what others think. Perhaps we could learn more about the concept of self-reliance as a way to strive in the world we live in today.

Nothing is really new about the concept of self-reliance. It was introduced in 1841 by Ralph Waldo Emerson, an American essayist, lecturer, and poet, through his essay "Self-Reliance". It relates to Transcendentalism, a philosophical movement in the 19^th century that emphasized the power of inner self to ‘transcend’ beyond the materialism imposed upon us. As one of key figures in Transcendentalism, Emerson was disgruntled with American society for stipulating social pressure to conform and disregarding the value of oneself. Emerson saw how society could ruin individual self-growth eventually.

How society can have a huge impact on the inner self seems like a familiar situation nowadays. The difference is that today, the 'standard' has reached broader audiences with narrower views. Thanks to the digital age, we are going back in time and reliving the past. Materialism, societal judgment, and expectations are more vividly shown and perceived. Not only are we demanded to comply, but we also feel pressured to showcase our lives. Our values are determined by achievements and the way we flash our lives. Expectations and self-acceptance today seem to rest in the hands of the world, no longer in our own.

As social creatures, it is in our nature to want to know how others perceive us. We want to understand our social standing. With the advent of social media, we can easily compare ourselves to others. The need for social validation increases as our interactions on social media increase too. It seems normal to seek validation. However, problems arise when it impacts our inner self. If we see, value, and judge ourselves poorly because we seem to not fit in, that is when we have to save ourselves. 

The Introduction to Self-Reliance 

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, — that is genius. Ralph W. Emerson – Self-Reliance

  Transcendentalism believes in self-intuition and how it can provide proper guidance for individuals to live their own lives without being affected by societal dictates. To hold such a merit, one must develop enormous self-confidence, which leads us to self-reliance. Merriam-Webster defines self-reliance as reliance on one's own efforts and abilities; however, this does not delineate the concept enough. So, what exactly is self-reliance? The definition of self-reliance is not distinctly stated, as it intersects with other self-value concepts. From self-belief, self-actualization to self-love, self-reliance encompasses all these virtues. Referring to Emerson's essay, self-reliance relates to an individual's freedom to pursue their desires, make choices, and live according to their beliefs, even if they have to oppose conformity.

These are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. Society is a joint-stock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. 

Ralph W. Emerson – Self-Reliance

The foundation of self-reliance lies within us. It grows as we age. Our principles, values, and perspective on life, are the essentials of self-reliance. It encourages us to think deeply about our self-worth to free ourselves from the fierce pressure of collective opinions and standards. Releasing these burdens could make our life easier. Owning the life that we own allows us to fully understand our existence. No need to wait for the world's approval. Self-reliance can help us live among others without insecurity crippling inside.

Relying on yourself does not mean we have to become isolated and disregard our nature as social creatures. It does not limit our interactions or relationships with others, but rather emphasizes self-autonomy within. It means we have complete control over our lives without any outside interference. Rather than forcing ourselves to conform to societal standards or being overwhelmed by them, self-reliance directs us to focus on ourselves in navigating life, regardless of the circumstances.

A simple way to embark on a self-reliance journey is by truly knowing yourself. Self-awareness is the first step in mastering yourself – your capabilities, advantages, disadvantages, preferences, and values. It sounds simple, but many still lack it. According to a Harvard Business Impact article, research by Harvard Business Publishing Corporate Learning found that only 15% of people have self-awareness. Without adequate self-awareness, we tend to be prone to others' influences, as we have difficulty determining our own desires and capabilities. We can easily be swayed by social pressure and have a greater thirst for validation to conform to their expectations.

Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Ralph W. Emerson – Self-Reliance

  Once we understand ourselves better, we instinctively trust our intuition better. Emerson is convinced that the self has a great force to recognize what is true for oneself. When we are brave enough to reckon with that force, we can live the life we want. Decisions about life phases, whether about the school to attend or the career path to pursue, are based on our self-knowledge. Opinions or suggestions from others serve as references, not interference in our decisions.

Every deed and decision about ourselves should be in our hands. The standard we trust must be our own. As long as what we believe in does not harm nor hurt anyone else, we should be the one to hold it firmly. Self-reliance paves the way for a life that is genuinely best for ourselves. As we begin to rely on ourselves, we will believe in our intuition more and be content with what we are and what we were meant to be. That is true happiness. In the end, the only person who knows what is best for us is none other than ourselves.